And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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