Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
