I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
