i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
