dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
