eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
