do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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