He uses pillows to masturbate.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
