Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
