Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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