that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
