some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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