Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
