haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
God I need to hump something, right now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
