Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
