Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
