So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
