Sponge bath it is.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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