I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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