Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
