He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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