I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
