Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
