Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
