I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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