I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
