I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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