You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
