If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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