just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
