Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
