Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
