I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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