Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
