Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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