My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
