Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize