margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
