He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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