She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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