If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
