taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
