i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
