Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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