3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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