she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
