No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
