What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
