Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
