yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
operation have a gay friend backfired
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
