I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Can I color on your dick again?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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