so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
