Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize