You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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