Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
