billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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