kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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