so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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