i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
