Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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