no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize